17 Things The Girl Who Is Used To Being On Her Own Should Expect, When She Dates The Boy Who Has Only Ever Been In A Long Term Relationship

1. Expect his feelings for you to be obvious and shown early in the relationship. It’s
not that he isn’t mindful or is reckless with how new this is for you; it’s
just that he sees the unique qualities you possess that no one else has taken
the time to identify and is excited for what he knows he has found.

2. Expect him to want to communicate more than you are used to. Don’t let this scare you,
it is in his nature to truly care for someone other than himself; it is him
wanting to stay in tune with other priorities/obligations you have in your life
in hopes to stay connected even while you’re apart.

3. Expect his friends and family members to be overjoyed and even outwardly optimistic
about your relationship. Do your best to brush it off, they are not trying to
place pressure or rush you into things; they just see the spark you have
ignited in him and how happy he is when he talks about you.

4. His gentleman nature will allow him to take things as slow as you would like. Due
to his selflessness, he is okay with this, but know that internally he is restraining
himself to his limits; he wants nothing more than to display his true affection
for you.

5. Expect him to rush to the scene to try to fix things that may go wrong or be
challenging in your relationship. Do not take this as a sign that he is ignoring
space you may want; he will do his best to respect it, but in the end he feels
every second that passes is wasted time that he could be growing with you and
will most likely take action.

6. Expect him to be an open book; he will want you to ask him tough questions about
himself and in return will want to dig around to know you on a personal level
unlike anything you have experienced. He knows how tough this will be due to
your guarded nature and will be gentle but still determined. Know that while he
will stumble in his approach, it is genuine.

7. Expect him to give you affirmation in abundance. He has the ability to sympathize
being in your shoes more than you realize. In his past relationship he may have
often felt left in the dark about her feelings for him. He will enjoy considering
and adapting for you because he does not want you to feel the way he once did.

8. Expect him to give, be cheesy, and spoil you in ways that at times may seem a bit over
the top. He is not trying to win you over by acts or gifts, he simply has no
other way to express his heart without overwhelming you with the words he truly
wishes to tell you. He also does this to make up for the time prior to dating
him that you haven’t been treated the way you have deserved all along. A
glimpse of your smile is all he wishes in return.

9. Expect the way he treats you, things he says to you, and little gestures he routinely
does for you to never fade. He doesn’t feel as though he needs to uphold these
things in order for you to want him in return; he does them as a symbol that
his feelings for you do not waver over time and that his commitment to you is
not circumstantial.

10. Expect him to have a problem saying no to you. Do not grow frustrated that most of the time he is content with doing whatever you choose; He is comfortable when you are comfortable, he is happy when you are happy. No matter the activity he already gets what he wants, he is with
you.

11. He will be quick to forgive, and will often apologize even when he knows you have
wronged him. Do not label him as a pushover or mistake his grace for weakness;
his selfless nature allows him to place the burdens or struggles of your
relationship on his shoulders. He will gladly accept this role if it means you
two learn from the situation, ultimately helping to strengthen the bond you
share with one another.

12. Expect him to be spontaneous, risky, and unafraid to fail at gaining your trust. He
already expects you to pull back at some point; he has planned for it. Know
that his momentary discouragement will soon turn into a fight for your heart.
Do not fault him for this; he sees the greatness in you that no one else has.
He will do whatever it takes to show you because for him, it is a greater risk
for you to never see what he sees in yourself than for him to risk losing you
in the process.

13. Expect him to be hesitant to continually sacrifice for the relationship if he feels
you will struggle to ever reciprocate. He realizes it will take time to get to
that point but remember; he has most likely been down this road before. Due to
his nature, he probably sacrificed until he had nothing left to give. He wont
expect you to display it as frequent as he does, but in those few instances
that present themselves, he will hope more than anything you will want to step
up to the plate the way he does for you.

14. Expect him to make decisions with his heart versus his head, especially when it comes
to you. He is an individual that is filled with what comes from the heart; it
shines through his words, the way he interacts with you, and the compassion he
has for others. Sometimes it doesn’t allot for the smartest outcome and may
even push your buttons, but it is always done with the purest of intentions.

15. Expect for him to like you at your worst, more than at your best. He is unimpressed with you trying to “wow” him; you took care of that when he met you. He wants the real you that you don’t let other people see. He longs for you to come as you are, whether it be when you’re mad,
sad, being your dorky self, hair in a ponytail, wearing a sweatshirt. These are
the times he cherishes because he knows when it’s the real you, you are
becoming more comfortable with him.

16. Expect him to be everything your heart tells you he is. This will scare you initially;
you are not used to leading with your heart. Your mind will tell you he seems
too good to be true. It will be difficult for you to believe that he will
always be the way he is, that guys like him just don’t exist. You will be
waiting for him to mess up or try to convince yourself that one day you wont be
enough for him. Make him earn your heart, but once he does, let it guide you.
Then you will see with clarity that he loves being that incredible guy for you
and will continue to be; it’s just the way he is.

17. Although he doesn’t show it, he is scared too. You will be scared to get hurt; he has
already experienced the hurt you’re afraid of. He knows what it’s like to give
his best and it not be enough to make it work. Don’t let this discourage you.
He had to go through it; otherwise he would have never been ready for when you
came along. If he is who this list says he is then you already know how he
feels about you. You’ve given him an amazing hope that he can hardly contain. He
has been walking on eggshells trying to make sure he doesn’t push you too fast
but in reality he can’t wait for the future. As much as you like your normal
comfort zone, you’re not hoping for the normal relationship. At some point you
will want to take a leap of faith with that not so normal guy. When you do,
he’ll give you what you’ve been looking for, a not so normal love.

How to Deal with OCD Partner?

You’ve taken an important step in the right direction by recognizing that there’s a problem with your partner’s behavior and that it needs to be addressed. Although any intimate relationship has its ups and downs, dating or having an intimate relation with someone who is affected by a chronic mental illness such as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can present some additional challenges as well as opportunities for growth. Above all, it is important to remember that an illness is what a person has, not who they are.

So, here are some few but helpful tips on how to deal with OCD partner:

5 Men You’ll Meet Before You Die

They say experience is the greatest teacher and over the years, I have learned many lessons from the many, many (particularly) men I've dated, lessons I write about in this post. Another thing I've noticed is that there are certain guys who simply spell trouble. I wish I had known to watch out for these kinds of men earlier, it definitely would have saved me a lot of pain in the ass. But instead, I'm passing this info along to you.

Here it is:

The Economics of Sex

Why do men want sex and women want marriage? This animation perfectly explains the 'economy of sex':

This video broaches the economy of sex in a clinical and an academic manner, attempting objectivity but only partially achieving it. There are many layers of assumptions worked into this fairly perceptive social analysis.

This theory assumes that marriage is the endgame relationship status, paints sexuality as a binary, and ignores the fact that women themselves are often delaying marriage in order to pursue careers.

Although this analysis is rooted in social psychology and drawn from solid economic framework, these sorts of paradigms focus on broad underlying generalities.

This is a basic lens, and completely ignores the many and complicated human aspects of interpersonal relationships.

A thought provoking framing, but very limited in its direct application.

This video was produced by the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture.

Why Woman Stay With An Abusive Partner?

Battered women - violence against women continues to be a major problem in this country. It is nothing new. It has been with us for ages. Who is the battered woman? What does she look like? We are told she doesn’t come from any particular socio-economic class. She is normal with no special attributes many times that make her stand out in a crowd. Some characteristics of this woman are:

1) Low self-esteem

2) Usually is a traditional wife or girlfriend and believes in strong family unity

3) Accepts responsibility for being battered

4) Suffers guilt from it

5) Presents herself to the world as a passive person, but has enough strength to prevent herself from being killed or severely injured many times

6) Believes her situation is hopeless

7) Is financial dependent on her husband or boyfriend .

These women do not choose to stay in the relationship because they enjoy the beatings and abuse. Most of them stay for economic, legal or social-dependence reasons. Many simply have no place to go. Most people can not understand why a woman would not leave the man who treats her so cruelly. A lot of women feel guilty and ashamed and feels the abuse they realize are punishment for their sins. 

Women that are on welfare or have other means of support are usually more successful at leaving these men because they can control to some degree their own finances. They stay in the abusive relationships for several reasons. They stay for companionship, fear of aging, or having to face being a single parent. They are many times afraid that they will be harmed or killed if they leave. Also, many women will leave the abusive relationship many times before she finally makes the break. With this in mind, the caregiver must not give up on them when they go back to the abuser.

They have not become strong enough to make the final break. Evidence suggests that the men who batter women learn this behavior from a significant male in their own life. They have many times grown up in families where they witnessed their dad’s abuse of their mothers. Many times these fathers have been abused themselves. They have grown up with a strong authoritarian type of male ruling the house. These men focus on weak, dependent females and seek them out. When in this position, he has a sense of power, which makes him feel better about himself because many times this is the only power he has in life. He will have low self-esteem and has learned that he can boost his ego by bullying those weaker than himself. He usually will express a lot of jealousies to his lover.

He is extremely suspicious of she does, whom she sees and whom she talks with. He will accuse her of having sexual affairs with almost any male she comes into contact with from her father to the salesclerk at the supermarket.

There are three stages of the battering cycle.

• They are Phase I- The tension building stage, 
• Phase II- the Acute Battering Stage and 
• Phase III- the Kindness and Contrite Loving Behavior Stage. 

In Phase I the woman usually does all she can to calm down the batterer. She may nurture him or simply attempt to stay out of his way. She accepts the abuse because she thinks this will keep matters from getting worse. She here is seen to have sleeplessness, loss of appetite, overeating and sleeping, and constant fatigue. Phase II sees the explosion. It is here where she is usually beaten. 

She anticipates this is coming. Phase III is characterized by extreme loving, almost kin to the honeymoon stage. The batterer shows affection and kind behavior that resembles a newly wed. He knows what he has done is wrong and tries to make it up to her. He begs forgiveness and promises never to do it again. He is like a little boy promising that he won’t do it again. 

So, what is the answer? No one plan or method seems to be working that allows battered women to get away from the man described above. Interesting enough, this woman may actually love this man. A lot of understanding from a care provider must be given, whether it is a professional counselor or another significant person. 

We must all become more sensitive to the battered woman, realizing that it may seem very simple to us, but it is terribly complex problem for these women. The legal system needs to be more involved, laws need to be passed to deal with this crime and batterers need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Policemen need better training in ways to get women to safe houses. But most important of all, these males need to be taught as children that physically, sexually, and verbally abusing women is wrong and can not be tolerated. 

The education system itself can be used to meet this objective. I believe that the social conscience has to be raised concerning this area. When this is done, we will start seeing a decline in this problem. There is NO excuse for ANY abuse on women, children, men or the elderly. We can't help but notice it is only a coward that would abuse anyone and that they would never abuse one who could fight back. 

People don't stop to think about the different types of abuse, Verbal, Mental, sexual abuse etc. When you call your child, friend or spouce a name that is abuse, degrading is abuse, when a person says NO and you force that is abuse. I would never slap ANYONE as I don't ever want to know what it is like to get slapped. I bite my tongue even when someone says something nasty to me because I can't call anyone something that I know they aren't. 

 To understand battered woman's syndrome, one must first understand how someone becomes a "battered woman". A woman must experience at least two complete battering cycles before she can be labeled a "battered woman". The phases are mentioned earlier. It is also important to understand why battered women stay in abusive relationships. A battered woman tends to stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons." 

Among those reasons: women are still positively reinforced during the honeymoon phase; women tend to be the peacekeepers in relationships - the ones responsible for making the marriage work; adverse economic consequences; it is more dangerous to leave than to stay; prior threats by batterer to kill self, or children; or to abscond with children; lost self-esteem; and no psychological energy to leave - resulting in a learned helplessness or psychological paralysis. 

Battered woman syndrome describes a pattern of psychological and behavioral symptoms found in women living in battering relationships. There are four general characteristics of the syndrome: 

1. The woman believes that the violence was her fault. 

2. The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere. 

3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children's lives. 

4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

21 Dating Truths You Need To Realize

1. 95% of the time, they didn't lose their phone. They didn’t drop in the toilet or the bathtub. It wasn’t shut off. They just didn’t want to text you. If not, why aren’t they Facebooking or tweeting you right now?

2. If you’re looking at someone’s online dating profile and there are multiple people in their photo and you say, “Who is that guy? He’s hot!”, the person will never be that guy. He will always be the person standing next to that guy.