How do you know if you or your partner are on the rebound? What must you do to ensure you don't get into a hurtful rebound relationship or, if you find yourself in one, what can you do to protect yourself?
A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break-up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship."
In essence, when you're in a rebound relationship you spend a significant amount of time focusing on your previous one. Focusing on what could have been, what went wrong, wondering if you did the right thing in splitting up and lots more besides. All the time you focus on your old relationship you are draining the potential of your current one to be successful.
You spend the time focusing on the old relationship because you have unanswered questions, because you still hurt from some of the experiences you went through, because you haven't taken the time that your mind and your heart needs to work through the painful emotions you're still feeling.
A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to “move on” with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone . It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.
Can you tell if you're in a rebound relationship?
Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.
What to do if you're already in a rebound relationship?
The biggest danger of being in a rebound relationship is that you might commit to it when your partner really isn't suitable for you. In any relationship in the early romantic stages there's a danger that you're going to think this is the best relationship you've ever had and you'll want to commit too early.
However, in a rebound relationship, because you'll be feeling more vulnerable than ever, and more eager to retain the love you're receiving, you're even more likely to over commit.
So take it slowly. Even though you may feel like this is the best relationship ever, you're partner is perfect and you'll never, ever feel any different, just force yourself to take your time. If your love for each other is real they will understand if you need to slow down a little.
If it's your partner that's on the rebound, then treat any commitment requests with the same caution - for the very same reasons.
What to do to prevent yourself getting into a rebound relationship?
The only thing you can do is to try to establish up front how long it's been since their previous significant relationship. If it's less than a month for every year of their relationship then there is a significant chance that they're still getting over their previous relationship. This is of course only a guideline. But the shorter the break since their last relationship, the more likely your partner is to be still dealing with the issues from it.
