Why
do so many women and men attach themselves to destructive and painful
relationships -- relationships that they cannot walk away from? Why
do they need to manipulate and control their partners, using whatever
means necessary? Love is focused and centered on the needs of
the beloved. Obsession, in contrast, is self-centered. The
obsessed is always focused on his (or her) own desires and the object
of obsession is incidental. Love treats the beloved as a human being
and in extreme cases lovers treat love and beloved as divine. For the
obsessed the centre of his attention is an object with no desires, no
life independent of the intense desire that the obsessed has for the
object. He/She is almost like a child who is mad for a toy and will
take the toy with him (or her) to bed, to garden, and even to the
toilet. But if one day the toy hurts the child, there is immediate
rejection. The child is now looking for a new toy while the old one
is thrown mercilessly into the dustbin.
